Back Like That Mysterious Rash!
Back at the Bindstone again!
Yeah, I'm afraid wanderings into other realms just couldn't keep me away. My friends have asked me what it was that brought me back and I've told them the same thing I'm going to tell you now: RvR, baby.
We all know I suck. Let's not beat around the bush and pretend I picked a nerfed class or anything. So it's no surprise that it took me forever to get a level. But what really slowed me down was once Bottom (my Theurg) hit level 20, the Battlegrounds opened up to me. Oh, I was getting my ass kicked out on the frontiers long before that. Heck, Kwip (my lvl 15 Scout) was out on the frontiers at level 5. Once I even spotted a raiding party and had time to warn our defenders before some mean little dwarf bastich made castinets out of my testicles.
So the concept of RvR was not new to me. But what WAS new - new and very, very exciting - was that for once I was amongst enemies that I actually stood a snowballs' chance in the underworld of landing a spell on. I was able to not only shoot my little elementals after people, but actually survived being stabbed in the back a couple of times. Oh, sure, I wound up back at the bindstone so often I qualified for frequent flier miles, but that's nothing new. No, the new part was actually being able to do something. And I don't just mean my uber Pulsing Blade Turn - I mean I cast a few elementals at people and they actually ran away or got steamrolled! My little goobers served a purpose! Granted, once they realized that I appreciate them, they promptly unionized and demanded better insurance benefits, but being the oppressive management sort I am, I nuked them back into subservience... Made me feel like a Republican! *duck*
Eventually, though, it just got too painful to try and keep up with the rest of my guild. They were out fighting in the frontiers, and I wanted to do nothing more than join in with them, but I didn't have the POWAH to survive out there for long. My best work out there got done sitting by the REAL mages and playing assassin detector (ie, they wait for the assassin to stab me in the back of the head and THEN cast their PBAoE - don't wanna waste that power if no one's around, you know). A useful job, I'll admit, but not really what the poster of the Defenders of Albion promised me in their recruitment drive. Although those would make great posters - "Join us and REALLY take one for the team!"
So I left. I tried some other games, got bored and then Yates (also known as the troublesome Yellowrat Bastard) started talking to me about the changes to the game. Seems that leveling is a bit less painful. And there's a SEIGE BOLT now. Granted, I've also been told it sucks, but at least it's something I could contribute to a seige! Plus the expansion looks darn cool. I can feel it beckoning to me, enticing me with it's sweet, sweet promises of dying in all new and exciting manners! Who can resist that?
Not me. Last night, I took the plunge and jumped back in. And lo and behold, it was darn good timing, because my guild had organized a hunting party. They let me tag along and not only did I NOT die, I actually leveled! Talk about a warm welcome. I think the only thing that would've made it a better homecoming would have been Gillian Anderson spoon-feeding me Ben & Jerry's while I played. Yes, that is a hint, Mythic: the expansion would really benefit from the inclusion of Gillian Anderson and Ben & Jerrys. Well, at least for MY copy.
Not only was my guild still around, but there were a lot of old friends, too! And Alem and Yates. I don't really think of them as 'friends' so much as 'demons that exist to do nothing more than torment me into insanity.' They were pretty keen to welcome me back, too.
Alem has challenged you to a duel!
A duel? What fun! This is awesome! Let's see here...first thing I'll do is...
Alem explodes your head.
I'm not sure exactly what happened, but it was something like that. I was left staring dumbly at my corpse running around trying to find it's head. Pretty embarrassing, that.
And then Yates and I dueled.
Yates has challenged you to a duel!
First thing I'm gonna do is get out of his range while I think about...
Yates explodes your head.
Ok. Duels suck. There needs to be some command introduced for duels. Something like:
/pleasedontletthosejerksblowupmyhead
So anyway, it's good to be back. I love what you've done with the place. Look forward to seeing you around, dying to you, annoying you with my little elementals, buying you drinks, being touched inappropriately, whatever.
